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LIFE CYCLES AND HUMAN RHYTHMS - In this part we discuss the cycles that each of us are subject to through the passage of our life. When we understand these cycles and the impact on our life it gives us a clue and can be very helpful in assisting us in identifying where to look in our lives when we are faced with an emotional reaction. Very useful knowledge.

CHILD SEXUAL AND PSYCHOLOGICAL DEVELOPMENT - In this part we discuss the developments of each age of the child, both physiologically and well a spiritually. Please note that these are general stages and may not be totally accurate in every child's case.

The Place of the child in the family
Our brothers and sisters are as essential a part of our identity as being the son or daughter of a particular set of parents. Our siblings are representatives of the larger world of society. What we learn with them teaches us social skills, how to defend ourselves, how to share, how to find a space for ourselves, an identity of ourselves. Through our older siblings we gain of sense of what’s ahead of us. From our younger ones we see what we have already passed through. We are constantly redefining ourselves within this sibling network. Our universe is widely expanded through their interests, their friends, their activities, their paths in life.

Research has shown that certain patterns tens to develop in the emotional and personality of the child that is completely disconnected from intelligence and ability. The family constellations shapes peoples social behavior, how they react to other people, how they make friends, or don’t make friends, how they live in community with others, how they choose their partners and relate to the goals in their life. The central element here is that, here our place in the family strongly influences the way we interact with others.

The Only Child:-
The only child grows up in a world of adults. Protected from the give and take of siblings, the child becomes much more emotionally dependent on his/hers parents than is in the case of children who are buffered to some degree by being one of several children. At great deal of the attention is focused on the only child who tends to consider this appropriate (although in later years this attention can feel like a burden) the parents invest everything into their one child, and their expectations are often unrealistic. Only children often expect to be acknowledged and have a special place in life. They are frustrated and disappointed when they are just considered to be one of many in a school environment or   public working environment. If the parents had insight to form close relationships with other families, the only child had the opportunity to learn, to get along with others. If not, the only child finds this process extremely difficult.

The only child is self contained, taking part in activities often without really taking part. On the one hand only children look at other children and want to be included; but when they are, they don’t always go along with the rules the group has made. They are used to being alone and making their own rules or doing whatever they want. While some only children make great efforts and achieve great things, others expect everything to fall into their laps because of their special status in life. Often uncertain of how to act socially, only children may isolate between wanting too much or too little contact. They take themselves very seriously often feeling insecure among the teasing and romping of their peers.

The Eldest Child:-
The eldest child is also an only child at first, during this time; eldest children develop a strong relationship to the parents. Usually their personality takes one of two directions;

1. Either very sad or fearful, clinging to the parents and dependent upon them, or
2. Strongly independent, self directed self sufficient, and often undemonstrative. 

The eldest child stands as a bridge between the adult world and the siblings who come later. Identifying with the adult world, she/he becomes the leader, the authority and the model of younger sisters/brothers. Of course, much depends on how many years passed before the second child appears, and how parents define the eldest child’s role.

Eldest children can be aggressive, ambitious, high achieving, and concerned about doing their duty, and often show more drive and perseverance because they look at life seriously, feeling that they carry the burdens and the weight of the world, and they may leave the care free world of childhood behind them earlier than second children do.

When a brother/sister arrives the eldest child has to learn to share his/her home. The way the first child accepts the newcomer depends on the difference of age, on the attitude of the parents, the general conditions in the home and last, not but not least, on the temperament and the personality of the child them self. The first child had been the king/queen of the palace and now has suddenly defend their place; and thus becomes a defender (a defender of faith, of tradition, of the family, of the past). The first child is the maker of the family, for it is through them that the parents learn. Into the structure created by the parents and the first child, the other children come. The way has been paved. If the parents felt with the first child, they will be stricter with the others. If they feel that they were too nervous and uptight with the eldest, they will relax with the other children. The eldest child’s experience and responses to the parents shape the atmosphere.

Although the first child has an “only” child experience for a while, their contact with the world is very different. The first child has a clear purpose, a determined sense of responsibility and accountability. As with all positions in a family this one is not trouble free. The eldest child, in attention of wanting to be rebellious and care free, and the feeling the need to do their duty.   The experience of the older child will be influenced by the pattern of siblings.

1.   If there are two sisters, the older one may develop her masculine characteristics, dominating and overshadowing her younger sister. Or she may, instead become the more feminine one. Or strive to become independent and follow her own star, having very little with to do with her siblings.
2.   If the elder sister is followed by a brother, this is likely to strengthen her feminine side. She may become more motherly, helping and supporting her brother.
3.   If there are three sisters, the first will often develop a queenly type character and get her younger sisters to wait on her. But if a little brother is born into the family of one, two, or three girls, the position of the eldest is balanced by a stronger focus on the new little fellow.

This is the process of construction - will be completed soon. Please return here in a few days. Thanks.