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Your inspiration to overcoming this scourge in our society. By you healing you can help another.  
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WELCOME MESSAGE

The need for proper psychological education on molestation, child sexual abuse and rape is huge in the world. The effect of any one of these on any child is unimaginable and has a direct impact on her/his life in every aspect of her/his life for the rest of their life until it is dealt with. I have found it to penetrate the home where this occurred, the school and post school career, the work arena, the relationship arena, the parenting arena, personal health, personal outlook and perception of self, and so on and so on. Many don't know or even think that it is possible to "BREAK FREE FROM THE CLOAK OF YOUR SEXUAL ABUSE".YES IT IS!! - WE DO IT ALL THE TIME!! IN A FEW HOURS YOU COULD BE FREE. JUST IMAGINE THAT. IMAGINE WHAT IT COULD MEAN TO BE FREE FOR THE REST OF YOUR LIFE. WHAT COULD YOU ACHIEVE, HOW WOULD YOU BE. ALL THIS FOR JUST A FEW HOURS. THIS IS THE MOST PRECIOUS GIFT YOU CAN GIVE YOURSELF.

This site is designed to show survivors the impact on their life as well as some suggestions that could contribute to effect of breaking free and healing.

To phone and make an appointment click here. To email for an appointment click here.

This is such a huge task task and I have tried to cover this ever expanding topic from as many aspects as I can. Please take your time to read. There is lots of information below, just scroll down. If you find that it is overwhelming just choose one area to read and come back another day for another section.

Please remember to BOOKMARK this page so that you can find your way back here.

I have tried to categorise the information on this subject into areas that will hopefully make sense for any one to find their way around easily.To the left are the broad category titles. Click on any one and you will be taken to the broad categories below with the sub titles of information directly below it. I hope that this makes your search for information easier.

Defining molestation, Sexual Abuse and Rape - Back to Topics

  • Defining molestation, sexual abuse and rape

Break Free from your sexual abuse cloak and transform it into personal power – Many don't know that It can be done or has been done – We have done it for many using our unique methodology. It has always worked. It can work for you.!!!

For the survivor, Sexual Abuse is like a coat that you continually wear. You cant take it off and it never goes away ..... until you deal with it. You cannot ignore it, suppress it, drown it, drug it etc in what ever way you want to try to make it go away. It wont and does not.

Imagine BREAKING FREE of your sexual abuse cloak, in such a way that after every session, you leave feeling empowered and good about yourself. Imagine that even before you start with the sexual abuse SESSIONS, that FIRST of all, all your fears are addressed and you FEEL at ease about processing your sexual abuse. This is the methodology that I apply. It is unique and very powerful and empowering. In fact, it normally happens that when the survivor leaves us ultimately, they see the future as something positive and something to look forward to. Something to engage in. In other words they have now BROKEN FREE!!! and left their cloak behind. Imagine that !!! Not possible in a few hours??? Try US you will be surprised.

We don't mess around for endless number of open ended sessions. From start to finish is normally very quick for us. Add all of our hours together and you wont even get to a week. Worth it to try?? Workshops are even quicker. This is in complete contrast to conventional methodologies where therapy goes on and on (sometimes even years) and what's more most people leave the place of therapy feeling rather raw and exposed. This never happens when you work with us.

We have a holistic approach to this subject and try and address all the main areas of influence. Sexual Abuse impact on the survivor is normally deep and stretches across many areas in your life, and working with this therefore involves many areas to be addressed. That is why we have established a support group where many different subjects are discussed and processed. This is our commitment to address this scourge in our society. We try and rotate the subjects as much as possible.

This is probably one of the biggest most rewarding things that you can do for yourself - every survivor who leaves us agrees with this statement. When will you say this???

Contact us for an appointment - see workshop and support group calender schedule

Contributing factors to Sexual abuse, molestation and rape - also Statistics - Back to Topics

  • Contributing factors to Sexual abuse, molestation and rape
  • Statistics

Child Sexual Development - Back to Topics

  • Child position in the family
  • Life cycles and human rhythms
  • Child sexual and psychological development

Indicators of Child Sexual Abuse in some form - Back to Topics

  • Indicators of Child Sexual Abuse - what are generally the tell tale signs

The Molester and Modus Operandi - Back to Topics

  • Child Molesters - Who Are They and Characteristics
  • Finding the Victim and how they do it
  • Grooming the children for sexual molestation by the molester

What do you do now – If your Child was Sexually Abused, Molested or Raped - Back to Topics

Making it Safe for your Child – Parents Duties and Child’s Duties - Back to Topics

  • How we can protect our children
  • Safety tips for kids and parents
  • Choosing a day-care centre for your child

Understanding the Effects of Molestation, Sexual abuse or Rape - Back to Topics
It is possible to BREAK FREE from the cloak of sexual abuse on the survivor. Here are some of the effects that flow everywhere into your life - imagine breaking free from this. We do it all the time, is it not your turn? Read on ....

  • You (the victim) have been told that if you don’t keep quiet about it then the perpetrator is going to do something bad to someone (like kill Mom, kill someone/thing they love) that you love and so you have to protect MOM and keep the secret (the secret eats away at the victim over time). It is one of the most terrible burdens to bear.
  • It shows up in lack of Personal Power, Self Esteem
  • It show up in how you feel about life or generally in your feelings
  • It shows up in your sexuality
  • It shows up in your feminity / masculinity
  • It shows up in how you see yourself / your place in society
  • It shows up in your body
  • It shows up in your intimacy
  • It shows up in with your children and parenting them
  • It shows up in your immediate family and relationships – it affects everyone over time
  • It shows up in your trust of authority and/or trust of males / females later in life
  • It shows up as an inability to set boundaries
  • Contact us for an appointment - see workshop and support group calender schedule

The process of coping and what you did to cope as you were growing up - Back to Topics


Convinced yourself by ....

  • Denying that it ever happened
  • Minimising what happened, if anything – you know sh1t… happens
  • Rationalising – no it cant be true
  • Trying to forget or push it away completely you try and hide it away as you think everyone can see and you feel too ashamed about it
  • I have to control
  • I create chaos
  • You are too scared to talk about it as they wont believe you or have not believed you and you got into trouble about it so you use a spacing out mechanism
  • I am being super alert all of the time - just in case
  • I use humour - divert attention
  • I use busyness - it works -work that is
  • I try and escape

To Protect Myself .... - Back to Topics

  • I have to control
  • I create chaos
  • You are too scared to talk about it as they wont believe you or have not believed you and you got into trouble about it so you use a spacing out mechanism
  • I am being super alert all of the time - just in case
  • I use humour - divert attention
  • I use busyness - it works -work that is
  • I try and escape

I try to Escape when the Pain is too much to Bear by ... - Back to Topics

  • I hurt myself or I mutilate myself
  • I try and commit suicide
  • I create mental illness

I create addictions to divert attention like - Back to Topics

  • I try addiction and / or isolation
  • I create eating difficulties in a number of ways
  • I use lying as a technique
  • I use stealing as another tactic
  • I use gambling
  • I am a workaholic

You have no Idea what I do to create Safety around me

  • I avoid touch
  • I avoid intimacy
  • God must make it safe for me - so I use Religion
  • God let this happen too me and therefore I want nothing to do with him – I don’t trust him

Just to prove that I am able to cope - Back to Topics

  • I avoid relationships totally and say that I am not into that
  • I become the door mat for everyone to use – and when they do that I am important you see! So it is ok to be promiscuous and have excessive sexual thoughts.
  • I avoid sex completely saying that I do not need that – yuck! - I completely numb my body - I don't feel.
  • Contact us for an appointment - see workshop and support group calender schedule

           
Reconstructing our life after the healing process - Back to Topics

  • Learning to practice our new belief systems
  • Learning to rebuild our personal power and self esteem
  • Discover how boundaries work as opposed to barriers
    • Learning to use boundaries constructively – this takes lots of practice
    • Learning not to cut off by doing what we were good at by placing barriers between us and other people
  • Learn about feelings and expressing them – the joy and the power
  • Learn to express your anger constructively – no more violence
  • Learn how to create personal safety
  • Learn how to respond to your body and that your body responds to you – this is where magic lies and the joy of living
  • Learn about how relationships should work a opposed to how you thought that they should work
  • Learning to touch again and be touched
  • Freeing yourself from addictions of all sorts
  • Learning about being intimate again in the way you were supposed to.
  • Inside this it means to learn to trust, be in the relationship, resolve issues in the relationship, taking risks in the relationship – like the rest of us do.
  • Learn to love again – and this time that it is in a balanced way
  • Learn to give and receive in a equal way

Discovering and working with your feelings - Back to Topics

  • Feelings are a package deal
  • Get in touch with your feelings
  • You feel in your body
  • Honouring your feelings
  • Find out how to get support for your feelings
  • Communicating your feelings
  • Developing discernment
  • Emotional release work and exercises
  • Controlling your anger constructively
  • Panic and panic attacks
  • Methods to calm down
  • Positive feelings can be scary too
  • Affirmations to assist you
  • Develop your feelings dictionary using this table to assist you

Being Your body and be-ing there - Back to Topics

  • Starting with being in your body
  • Moving from hating your body to loving it and some exercises to do just that
  • Nurturing and touching your body
  • From splitting to being in your body
  • Now to stay in your body
  • From numbness to feelings
  • Nurturing Touch
  • From ignoring your body to listening to your body
  • Exercise - essential for your body and your welfare
  • Insomnia
  • From illness to physical well being
  • From addiction to freedom
  • Alcoholism and drug abuse
  • Getting rid of the smoking habit
  • Overcoming eating disorders including compulsive eating, anorexia and bulimia
  • Moving from Self Mutilation to Self care

Discovering what is Intimacy in a healthy relationship

  • What is healthy intimacy in a relationship and how do we get there
  • What does it mean at working at your relationships - how
  • Look at the impact of change in your relationship
  • Find out about taking risk in a relationship.
  • How can I develop my Trust in relationships
  • What about testing the relationship.
  • And then what about my projections on him/her.
  • I keep people on the other side of the wall - how do I break that.
  • I really want love but fear it immensely.
  • My co-dependency is driving me nuts - what now?
  • I am tired of being the door mat and now want to learn about applying boundaries in a healthy way.

Sex and relationships - Back to Topics

  • Starting with yourself
  • Next attract to yourself the right partner – you have found out how by now
  • Next with a partner start to find out how it works and how o build on it.
  • Learn how control destroys everything over time
  • Bring fun into life again

Now I am a Parent  - Back to Topics

  • How do I do this – may be in a reconstructive family  - what now
  • Children and parenting
  • Having children
  • Children are our greatest Teachers
  • Communication
  • Setting boundaries with Children and overcoming our fears – and there are lots – imposing loving discipline
  • Protecting our children – where we started

Partners of Survivors and Supporters of Survivors - - - - Back to Topics

  • What are the basics that all should know
  • The Family unit – there is lots to know
  • For Partners – there is lots to know and a lot of awareness helps
  • Sexuality
  • Therapy – best you get the inside story because if you do life will be just great  - if you don’t you will not know what is going on and it is a rough ride all round.
  • Doing it together has many wonderful moments and learning’s on both sides – It will be one of the best journey’s of your life.

Therapy and support groups - Back to Topics
Find a good Counsellor/Therapist

  • One who understands the journey
  • One of the opposite sex is normally very healing for the victim
  • You have to be comfortable – because it will get rough before it gets better. If you are not comfortable go somewhere else
  • Free sessions or state sponsored are not normally a good idea – the good ones usually leave and then you are left with someone who is learning on you – it can be very painful and you get no where
  • You should leave every session contained and able to cope – if not find someone who can do it
  • Joining a support group is an excellent idea – you discover that you are not nuts after all. Most importantly you learn from each other.
  • Do workshops focused specifically on sexual abuse as you will find that there are others like you who have similar problems – that already makes things easier. Group work is immensely valuable.

About the Self Empowerment and Development Centre and Us - Back to Topics

  • What the centre has to offer
  • What Peter has to offer
  • Why choose Peter to work in a one on one or in a workshop environment.

List of Workshops and Support Groups on offer

  • See schedule

Contact US - Back to Topics

  • Contact details and a map
  • Physical address
  • Email or Skype

Client Success Stories - Back to Topics

  • Stories of clients as written by them

Articles of Interest

  • On this page are many different articles that may interest you on this subject and others

References - Back to Topics

  • Personal experience through clients
  • Books
  • Internet
 
 

 

Emotional freedom

Sexual Abuse unlocked 4U Transform your sexual abuse into personal power. IF you put as much effort into the your transformation process as you put into just coping and surviving, it will all be over in a cinch. Truly life changing!!.

Healing of your sexual abuse, molestation or rape through counselling via the net
I have established a Skype counselling service where consultations can be done over the internet. To find out more go here. Do visit us.

OVERCOMING YOUR FEARS TO ADDRESS AND FINDING PERSONAL SAFETY - FIRST STEP
Our methodology has overcome many fears and transformed lives. You will be amazed what can happen in a few hours. Try it - you can only gain. We suggest that you first work with overcoming fears before trying to address any sexual abuse issues.

MANY DONT BELIEVE THAT YOU CAN BREAK FREE FROM YOUR SEXUAL ABUSE INTO PERSONAL POWER -IT IS!!! THE SECOND STEP
Our methodology has transformed many Survivors lives. You will be amazed what can happen in a few hours. Try it - you can only gain.

SUPPORT GROUP FOR SEXUAL ABUSE SURVIVORS
Every Tuesday night at the Centre. Please look at the Calender for what Topic is being discussed. Different topics each time.

THE SUBCONSCIOUS MIND AND IT WORKINGS
Read here (from our sister site) about how the subconscious mind works and how the sexual abuse event impacted on you. Most important to understand.

THE LAW OF ATTRACTION AND YOUR ENEGRY BODIES
You need to read this (from our sister site) after reading the story on the subconscious mind above